I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this opportunity to see shining samples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the first time in a long while, I do not feel alone.
Element of me wanted to keep longer, but beneath that desire was thinking that I will be doing this for the wrong reason; as a way in order to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to generally share was not yet clear at that time; only on the drive away achieved it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never needs to have told you, never needs to have let you see inside. acim teacher Don’t want it troubling your brain, won’t you allow it to be?” This confused me as I could not consider anything that I had said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that probably the most prominent fear I had in coming to the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere having its residents’satisfaction, by just my presence alone. This belief that I could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for many years, and has colored a lot of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness immediately after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief has been (has been?) released.
You can find other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t consider them right now.